June 06, 2010

This is a story about control

It occurred to me recently that I hadn't had a real group discussion about birth control since college, when everyone was just paranoid about getting pregnant. But then my women friends and I took a decade or so to grow up, and we had all kinds of experiences, relationships, scares, pleasures, and kids along the way.

We clearly needed a poll. One simple question (in two parts)—What's your favorite method? Ring, IUD, diaphragm, patch, pill, chanting at the full moon?—inspired an onslaught of thoughtful, funny, and wise replies. The 35 women I asked range all over the map: married, single, partnered, straight, bi, pregnant, moms, post-hysterectomy, health professionals, one-method-only, every-method-under-the-sun. But they were uniformly curious to hear what the rest of the group had to say.

Everyone enjoyed the conversation so much that several participants asked me to publish the poll somewhere, so they can share the link with their own circles of women.

Ladies, this one's for you. Thank you for your voices.

THE CONTROL POLL

The numbers indicate how many women said a particular method is their preferred form of birth control. Comments follow, both pro and con, plus any recommended reading.

Pill: 10
“I kind of like my period. It reminds me of two things: A) I’m not pregnant, and B) my body is doing what is supposed to do.”
“I know there is a lot of newer stuff out there, but I’m sticking to what works.”
“I hate being on hormones. The last time I was on birth control pills, they became affectionately known as ‘bitch pills’ by all my friends.”
The hard part for me is remembering to take the little suckers every day.

IUD (Mirena): 4
“I love it. Never had a problem and I don’t even have spotting.”
“I am totally and utterly passionate about the Mirena hormonal IUD. No side effects except losing my period (who can complain?!), totally reliable, no action required, only local release of hormone rather than systemic, etc.”
“I had a great experience with Mirena. I had it for 5 years. There was cramping just when it was inserted.”
“I just got the Mirena myself, after a zillion years of pill use, and basically think it’s heaven. The insertion was uncomfortable but brief.”
“Love my Mirena! The insertion did actually hurt, but the pain only lasted for one full minute, and in exchange I get 5 worry-free years of protection.”

Condoms: 4
“I’ve been all condoms all the time for years now.”
“Condoms with spermicide are the way to go. You get used to it after a while, it is effective, and it has no lasting effects.”

Diaphragm: 3
“I am a big fan, Mad Men–ish as this may be. Noninvasive, cheap, takes two seconds to put in.”
“The only thing that I have found that is noninvasive and also has no side effects is the diaphragm. Drawbacks: It comes in a hideous package and you have to remember to have it with you.”
“I did the cervical diaphragm thingy based on a friend’s recommendation. She got pregnant on it.”
“I use a diaphragm, but I’m kind of retro.”

NuvaRing: 2
“You only need to remember it a couple of times a month, and no major hormonal effects.”
“Ring ring ring ring!!!! I love it. So easy, lowest hormones, and it cleared up my acne.”
“I tried the NuvaRing and liked it, but my melasma didn’t go away.”
“The NuvaRing is fabulous, but when I used it I got a lot of yeast infections.”
Recommended reading: http://motherjones.com/environment/2009/05/nuvaring-dangerous

IUD (Paraguard): 1
“Three of my coworkers sing its praises, and the bonus to Paraguard is that there are no hormones involved. It can also last for up to 10 years, as opposed to Mirena’s 5.”
“I have the Paraguard IUD and love the fuck out of it. It hurt like hell going in, but I’ve had no issues and no complications. My flow is much heavier, which I am happy with because it feels good to have that serious cleanse once a month.”
“The thing with the Paraguard is that it’s the only really good nonhormonal option out there, but it does tend to cause a lot of breakthrough bleeding and heavier periods.”

Rhythm Method: 1
“I don’t like to add any hormones to my body.”

IUD (unspecified type)
“I agree that it has many positives, but also some negatives...including really heavy cramping that is super painful for up to a couple weeks after they put it in. Another weird thing? The guy can sometimes feel it in you. It kind of bugged my husband.”
“My IUD had to be removed because of severe cramping and bleeding.”

Depo Injection
“You get it every three months, it’s low-hormone, it’s extremely effective, and you don’t get your period. The negatives I’ve heard is that it tends to cause more weight gain than other methods.”
“Research it carefully, as I believe this is what a friend of mine was on for about a year a few years ago, and she ended up with osteoporosis because of it. She wasn’t even 30 and was told she had the bones of an 80-year-old! Yikes.”
“Depo does cause a bit of weight gain, but we love a luscious lady. It also causes some decrease in bone density while you’re on it, but this comes back when you go off it again, so it's not necessarily a problem for a few years.”

Patch
“I had a friend who tried the patch and hated it. It was weird for her to have a ‘sticker’ on her all the time. She was off of it quickly.”

Sex with Women

“Let’s not forget the best, most natural, safest way to be sure not to get preggers...SEX WITH WOMEN!!!!”

Chanting at the Moon
“Fun, but you’ll be knocked up before you know it.”
“Interesting. Let me know if that works for you.”