About face

What's a seven-year blog break, give or take? Listen, it doesn't count as true neglect if you resurface eventually to tackle a topic of very great importance to every-gender folks of a certain age: skincare.

For 39 years, I've been the exasperated owner of skin that's a genuine pain in the ass. It's reactive (formerly known as "sensitive"), dry in some places and oily in others, still breaks out regularly decades after puberty, keeps getting wrinkles in new places that please me none at all—and taking care of it has always been an expensive, time-consuming trial.

Dermatologists handle the chronic stuff, but for routine care I've spent the past 10 years or so conducting an exhaustive search for products that work on my skin. Here's the short but oddly tricky list of criteria:

1. 100% cruelty-free*
2. No strong fragrances
3. Doesn't overdry
4. Doesn't cause breakouts
5. Doesn't cost a million dollars (seriously, $60 max)
6. But looks like a million bucks

Finally, FINALLY, I think I've figured it out. And I thought I might save you some pain—and a lot of Sephora returns—by sharing my hard-won wisdom. So here goes.** Caveat: I don't use all these products daily, or my face would fall off. Pick and choose depending on your skin's mood.

Moisturizer
Daytime: Trader Joe's / Nourish Oil-Free Antioxidant Facial Moisturizer (TJ's, $5.99)
Nighttime: First Aid Beauty / Ultra Repair Cream (Sephora or Ulta, $30)
Anytime: French Girl Cosmetics / Crème Lumière Facial Moisturizer (French Girl, Anthropologie, and cute little shops on Orcas Island, $24)
Neck: IT Cosmetics / Confidence in a Cream (Sephora or Ulta, $48)

Toner
Dry or combo skin: Alaffia Face Toner / Purely Coconut (Alaffia, Amazon, PCC and other hippie grocers in Seattle, $9.49—strongish coconut scent)
Oily skin: Mario Badescu Skincare / Glycolic Acid Toner (Ulta, $18)

Exfoliation
Andalou Naturals / Lemon Sugar Facial Scrub (Andalou, Market of Choice and other crunchy grocers in the town where your dad retired, $14.95)

Facewash
CeraVe / Foaming Facial Cleanser (Target, Walgreens et al, $12.50)

Eyes
OleHenriksen / Banana Bright Eye Crème (Sephora, $38)
MD Complete / Eye Wrinkle Corrector (Target, $28.99)

Anti-aging
The Ordinary / Granactive Retinoid 2% in Squalane (The Ordinary, $9.60)
The Ordinary / Azelaic Acid Suspension 10% (Sephora or The Ordinary, $7.90)
MD Complete / Wrinkle & Radiance Remedy (Target, $39.99)

Breakouts
Dermalogica / Overnight Clearing Gel (Ulta, $51)
Kimberly Sayer / Deep Cleansing French Clay Mask (Kimberly Sayer, $26.13)

Foundation
Light coverage: Tarte / BB Tinted Treatment Primer (Ulta or Sephora, $37)
Medium matte: Tarte / Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Full Coverage Foundation (Ulta or Sephora, $39—IMO it's really medium coverage)
Medium dewy: Sunday Riley / The Influencer Foundation (Sephora, $42)
Full: Urban Decay / All Nighter Waterproof Liquid Foundation (Sephora, $40—moisturize well before applying)

Concealer
Light coverage: Wet n Wild / Photo Focus Concealer (Wet n Wild, Walgreens et al, $3.99)
Medium: Cover FX / Cream Concealer (Sephora, $28)
Full: IT Cosmetics / Bye Bye Breakout Treatment Concealer (Ulta or Sephora, $28)

Powder
Pixi by Petra / Flawless Finishing Powder (Target, $20.49—brush recommended, not the included puff)

Blush
Stick: Ilia / Multi-Stick (Sephora, $34)
Pressed: Tarte / Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush (Sephora, $29)
Liquid: Perricone MD / No Blush Blush (Sephora or Ulta, $35)

Brows
Anastasia Beverly Hills / Clear Brow Gel / Sephora, $22

Lips
Pixi by Petra / Lip Contour Liner (Target, $12)
Aveda / Nourish-Mint Soothing Lip Color (Aveda, $18)
IT Cosmetics / Vitality Lip Flush 4-in-1 Reviver Stain (Ulta, $20)
p.s. My favorite lipstick of all time is Revlon's Coffee Bean. If you've found a CF equivalent for this magical color, please tell me tell me tell me.

*Verified by trustworthy sources beyond the product manufacturer, such as PETA, Leaping Bunny, and Cruelty-Free Kitty.

**Prices and links are current as of five seconds ago. I'm not using those links that get you paid because I'm too lazy to figure out how, and also I'm a pragmatist with a normal person's social following. Please rest assured that every single recommendation on this page comes with zero outside influence.