Limited stature

Aren't people just the darnedest things? May it please the court:

1. Dwarves zipped into suitcases who steal stuff (“We are looking at our records to identify criminals of limited stature.”)
2. Little wedding ring coffins for sale (“Give a dead marriage its proper, final resting place.”)
3. Foreskin's Lament (Enough said.)

Thanks—or maybe a friendly anvil to the head—to Shmosh and Miss Mobtown for sharing these tidbits. I know my day is brighter now, not to mention my faith in humankind.