Pescavacutarian

Remember my scary Martha Stewart moment when I got those new couch pillows? Well, excuse me, but I'm having another one.

After tormenting myself for a while by trying to clean my carpeted stairs with the giant free vacuum I inherited when my dad last moved, I decided to go for the yuppie upgrade and order one of those wee handi-vacs. It arrived promptly and proceeded to sit in its box in my bedroom for about six weeks. Anyone out there who thinks I'm freakishly clean can just chew on that for a while.

But today, I discovered I'm the proud owner of the cutest little vacuum Martha and her demented cohorts can imagine. It's shaped like a fish! For real. It has silver bumps for eyes, a gill-like fan on each side, and a mouth-shaped opening where you insert the useful gadgets that do things like clean that annoying crease between the stairs where all the hair I shed goes to hide.

After it gets the job done, my new vacuum looks up with a big fish smile and its chin covered in dust, like a naughty kid you just caught eating big honking spoonfuls of peanut butter right out of the jar.

It's so cute. I love it. Please come by and walk all over my stairs so I get to use it again.